mmhmm

2006-10-19T19:39:00.000+08:00

MOVED AH MOVED

2006-10-11T01:10:00.000+08:00

time for a change. so long.

2006-10-03T02:04:00.000+08:00

I was losing myself to somebody else
But now I see
I don't wanna pretend
So this is the end of you and me
Cause the girl that you want
She was tearing us apart
Cause she's everything
Everything I'm not

2006-10-01T22:27:00.000+08:00

for the queerest reasons ever, i am in an extremely disgustingly grumpy mood.
and i apologize. there's just tons of stuff going on in my head and i'm super annoyed with like everything and everyone. ESP myself.

something's changed, i just haven't figured out what it is

la vida aspira

2006-09-30T10:51:00.000+08:00

290906

I DID IT AND IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A MILLION DOLLARS!

haha oh well, i can predict today's gonna be fantabulous.
secret activities then elle's birthday dinner at hard rock! (:
only downside is my cam's with zai, hello no photos. rah.

anyway, LOVELOVE.
i love my friends truckloads!

2006-09-28T23:17:00.000+08:00

Scared to be scarred once more
Just when I'm starting
You told me to stop.
Alone and scared
Scared to be alone once more
When I went on
It only burned me through.
Alone and scared
Scared to like once more
You're right there
But I could never have you.
Alone and scared
Scared to live once more
I walked away
But you stayed right here.

2006-09-25T18:51:00.000+08:00

Love was enough for a beginning,
but sustaining took every feeling a human being was capable of.

If I say it back to you, I can't look you in the eye
I don't want to lose you, I don't want to confuse you
I guess this is my cue, to give you my reply

2006-09-19T11:17:00.000+08:00

I never belonged anywhere, to anyone. Ever.
It makes you afraid to trust.
I always told myself that there'd be a day when I'd have my own things, my own place.
I wouldn't have to share them, I wouldn't have to ask.
It was something I promised myself because I couldn't have survived without that one hope.
I forgot to let go of that when I didn't need it anymore.

2006-09-14T22:02:00.000+08:00

She stayed at home, nursed her wounds, sat home alone at night, and cried often.
It was as though all the life had gone out of her, all the joy and excitement and passion.
She felt as though she were in a dark tunnel, lost in the darkness.
Everything she had hoped for and loved and trusted had been taken from her.
She was like a naughty child who had been punished.
For her poor judgement and foolish ways, she had been given an adult sentence, and put to death, or so she felt.
She didn't deserve either the punishment he meted out to her, nor the abuse she heaped on herself afterward, and nothing anyone could do or say made it right for her again.
She had opened places in herself to him that had never seen light and air and love before, and had never known human touch.
And when he shut the door on them, and on her, he created wounds that she had been trying to shield herself from all her life.
Worse yet, he had reopened every wound she'd ever had, while creating more.

2006-09-14T20:06:00.000+08:00

pure bliss :

the FOOD

the entertainment

culprit one

culprit two

together!

thanks girl for EVERYTHING, just being there and all. it's weird now that i'm finally home and all i wanna do is run over to yours. don't like being alone ): oh well, we should talk soon (ha). how lezzy. all my love for you!

stroll in,
stroll out.

2006-09-14T02:59:00.000+08:00

my little hideaway time is almost up
back to reality tomorrow,
when all i really want to do is hideout all i can.

tonight was a disappointment for reasons only elle'd understand
but still, hopefully next week more than makes up for it
i know i've been pretty grumpy and all the past week
really appreciate all those who've been there for me
shoe, elle & marcus (depite holidaying in malaysia now)
owe you 3 much much
LOVE

and to fit in with the grumpiness and the random mood

2006-09-12T22:14:00.000+08:00

i figured certain people read my blog and think that i'm referring to them at times when i'm not. and when i am, they just don't get it. so if you think this is about you, it probably isn't. hence i removed the last post. kudos to those lucky few who caught a glimpse of it. ha.

just because

2006-09-10T22:52:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERN!! X)

thanks for everything everything! you know how much i love you and take care of Ms.Fat & Ms.Nibbles! haha! i'll make it up to you post prelim, PROMISE! now you study hard and kick prelim ass! my favouritest photo of you! x)

slug, rantable, littlekiddo, i'm gonna miss you much if you fly off to OZ (feeling large not) hahahah! today moviemarathoning was fun aside from the scary thoughts from your mom. Hamster Cheeks

i'm sorry i was sucha prick, LOVE you more than ever!

2006-09-08T20:05:00.000+08:00

so, i decide to skip hockey camp
so, i decide to hide somewhere this weekend
so, i bid my final goodbye to you
so, i need this time away
so, i say goodbye goodbye

2006-09-07T22:02:00.000+08:00

it was only when i felt the despair and dread at the thought of coming back that i realised how much i had left behind. i wanted to leave everything the way it was and come back to somehow find that the glitches in the friendships/relationships would have disappeared magically. how stupid. as if that'd ever happen. but i think i came back with a lighter heart. what's the point of letting things get to us all the time. i was too caught up with all the little itty bitty details, when i failed to see the ultimate ending. and that is,

we're never going to happen

because much as i want to ignore what 'happened', i can't. you were too cruel, too insensitive and too too childish.

ps. to the one who reads my blog wondering if things're about you, they aren't. and i know how you feel because i read yours and wonder the same too.

i'll blog more about bintan soon enough.
for now, it's time to pack again.

2006-09-03T21:33:00.000+08:00

making my escapade! in 12hrs, can't wait.

my past week in a nutshell.
movies with the girls & partying.

high on each other's company

us, better (:

my following 2 weeks to come.
BINTAN!
(snorkelling, fantastic buffets all 3 meals, tanning, bumming, partying, boozing, skating, sailing, surfing)
ahhh multiple sighs of delight from elle & i.
much anticipated runaway from reality!

followed immediately, relentlessly by..

camps!
hockey camp! (:
linus & benjamin's bday parties.
ern's bday! LOVE!
and REI's bday in the works. oooh.

challengers camp.
not too sure how it's gonna be.
but but but, we can hope for the best.

and here's a silly picture which i know i'll regret putting up. but heck! i'm in an awfully silly mood now, or according to nigel. i'm MAD. hurhur.

i wish you'd quit your childish antics.
take the damn hint and LEAVE. please.

i've got something to tell you.
boy, you're yesterday's news.
we're so over.

2006-09-02T16:53:00.000+08:00

krunk wasn't so bad.
music sucked pretty much most of the night, grass was gross & crowd fanatically rowdy.
as usual, the company redeemed the night.

elle, rei, joe & timmy.
we had our fun last night. soon again k.
meanwhile, joe you mug hard.
we'll party after your prelim! (:

why did you have to butt in with your stupid msges.
just make a graceful exit.
there's nothing left to try or salvage if that's what you're trying to do.

when i saw you with that shit and you looked so freaking guilty
what's the point man, what's the point.

disappointments, the word of the night

can't wait to go to bintan and just get away from all this for awhile
i think elle & i deserve that break
just snorkelling, leaving the laidback life. away from reality

now it's time to get ready for stell/wall's party

this feeling is getting old

2006-08-31T13:38:00.000+08:00

suspended in time
that's how it feels like being cooped up at home on a dreary rainy day

meeting the girls at 2
time to paint a smile

2006-08-29T00:06:00.000+08:00

i miss you even though i never thought i would.

so what do i do now

2006-08-24T23:33:00.000+08:00

hello all! am in an awfully perky mood today! hahah maybe its cos its finally sunk in that THE HOLIDAYS ARE HERE!!!!!! omgomg. soooo excited! mambo last night with the girls was good. false alarms of allergy reactions and illness, but i'm glad everyone turned out fine and we managed to party all the way! followed by nice clean baths and cupnoodles by the roadside at the caltex opp elle's place. TOMYAM never tasted so yummy before! hahah it's amazing how topsyturvy our sleeping hours can be. elle & i crashed at 7+ and got up at 330. super good pastries at secretrecipe and then back to mine to work on pot's go away book! LOVES YOU girl. i'm gonna miss you super duper fuper much! can't believe we won't be seeing each other till the 15th! ): keep in touch thru texts okay bitch!

so well, tmr's teacher's day. i didn't even realize if it wasn't for the jckids reminders of HALFDAY HALFDAY! hahah oh puh-lease, i get hols till 15oct! FULL DAY FULL DAY! okayokay, don't stab me! i still lubs all of you okay! but seriously, hang in there. i know you guys're miserable and sick of school (nik), but it's gonna be alright! i'll be your official destresser. heh.

so, tmr's officially STELLA DAY. i miss you SO much! hwee i wanna see you too okay! and nik, icecream date tmr where we aim to lose the lipids. okay how to lose when we icecream. nvm, we'll figure out an alternative! hahah

i'm pooped. so i shall go and recharge for a long wkend! (:

2006-08-22T20:54:00.000+08:00

huge photopost as promised.

pictures from last night's girl sesh PERT + our pimp K.
i swear kian's been initiated/converted into a pimp/himbo, no thanks to us of course.

everyone bumming

himbo in the making, getting his nails done

little PINKy by joyce

feeling blue by tab

our happy customer

our selection for the night

we had our scary, the exorcist. our chickflick, confesssions of a teenage drama queen & our intellectual, hotel rwanda

as for the food, a bigfatTUB of yoghurt (FATFREE OF COURSE!), pizza, ruffles, chachos, cupnoodles, hellopanda, yan yan. it's no wonder i got up with a toothache this morning

as for today, well didn't do much 'cept getting a buttache from sitting in the hair salon for a whopping 5hrs.
we LOVES our hair. i've only got pictures of elle & myself. as for joyce and reina, it'll have to wait till POT uploads her photogs!

here's a before shot (excuse the shamelessness)

and an after shot!

elle & i at the salon

just a random photo of nat & i

okay that's it, i think this entry is freaking long as it is. can't wait for MAMBO tmr witht the girls! (:
CORSET CORSET CORSET!

2006-08-22T00:41:00.000+08:00

THERE'S NO STOPPING US FROM NOW!

no such thing as having TOO much fun or enjoying too much.

only 9hrs after the paper and we're in the thick of slacking to the max. tonight marks the beginning of a HELLUVA time this hols all the way till OCKTOBER FIFTEEN! (:

first off was to get rid of the hideous bushes on our faces, otherwise known as UNKEMPT BROWS.
ugh, so pluckpluckpluck and voila! sexy arches that frames our face
ahh how bimbotic i sound. heh.

shopping at fareast, topshop, fcuk, warehouse, forever21 etc was so good
not to forget the final satisfaction of my ROTIJOHN craving! (haha)

SO onto tonight, TONS of food (enough in case we get air-raided) and great movies to boot.
The Exorcist (kian, pussywussy), Hotel Rwanda and CONFESSIONS OF A TEENAGE DRAMA QUEEN! (my ultimate bimbo indulgence).
the manicures, bitching, ranting and just BONDING has been fantabulous so far!
i swear we will all be dozing off while getting our hair done tmr.
and then the shopping for mambo on wed.

photoblogging soon. promise!

2006-08-20T10:35:00.000+08:00

can't wait. just one more day then it'll be OVER!! just been so slack this past week, so girls we really have to MUG today okay? just channel ALL our motivation towards completing this paper and then it's onto all our FANTABULOUS plans of movie marathon, shopping, langkawi, bangkok and crubbing! oh yes and how can i forget, the HAIR. i'm so excited!

i <3333 PERT

2006-08-15T21:38:00.000+08:00

the past 3days have been total movie buffing. click on sunday, my super ex-girlfriend yesterday and hard candy today. please please catch click and hard candy! everyone cried at click and hard candy was SO fantastic seriously. the cinematography and plot is so disturbing and so wonderfully good. i loved every minute of it! ellen page is such a talented actress. and her ABS, WHOA! reina and i were like 'get a load of that!' (haha)

anyhoo there's a list of movies we girls want to catch. john tucker must die! (kian, all yours man) love-wrecked (chickflick!) and so much more. every show we're like i wanna watch i wanna watch. but it's okay! because it'll be the HOLIDAYS. hahaha how i love that word. and you know what's the BEST thing about poly. there's no such thing as holiday classes or holiday homework! because our sems are completely unrelated. now that's what a holiday should be!

i realize i have to get down to studying for medisoc ASAP. thurs with the cj pple at eugene's place then fri evening with hwee/basketball & elle/rugby. at this rate, i'll never get any work done! c'mon girls, we can do better than that! all we've done is pig out, bitch and have a ball of a time. BUTT sense of urgency hello! haha i sound so slave-driverish.

i don't know why i've been blogging so much recently, just feel like telling the whole world what i've been up to. ahhaa nah, just feel like talking i think. which is good! well better than being all emo and blogging phrases or lyrics right.

speaking of which, i've got a fresh batch of bruises and cuts. from where i have no idea! so it's time i start taking note of my clumsiness and stop walking into tables and chairs. my mom says i looked abused.

okay time to stop jibber-jabbering and here's some photos from beachday! no photos taken at the actual beach though. HAHA

on the bus

Princess Of Tibet's (POT) favourite nuh-uh-uh Z formation action

okay i'm lazy to upload further.

2006-08-15T10:18:00.000+08:00

wahoo another one to add to the list of 'Finally Overs'. webgraph presentation! so now it's one and only medisoc paper next monday and then 7weeks of retail therapy, chillax with the girls, shopping, clubbing, tanning and so much more!! can't wait! oh please please let this week fly past. but still, i'm glad i have elle, pot & ahnak with me! this week is going to be so much fun. i feeeel it in my fingers and toes babes!

erno i miss you. catch up sesh last night was good, more of that puhlease.

bee & banana, yesterday was like reunion after twenty-years. promise there'll be more of that to come. thai food & stupid flicks. (thanks for being there when that dreaded person was spotted) UGH. spoiler.

and i shall photoblog later after pot sends me the pictures from sentosa (:

all in all, it's looking to be a fantastic week.

i wish you didn't lie
but i still miss you anyway

2006-08-12T22:17:00.000+08:00

marketing is finally over. i don't think i've ever felt this level of exhaustion before. 2 days of sleeping at 6am and getting up after 2hrs of sleep.. not advisable. seriously, i'm fucking tired. but i need to rest over this wkend, then it's back to mugging for medisoc. and well once that's over, SEVEN BLOODY WEEKS of holidays.

i.cannot.wait.

2006-08-11T17:05:00.000+08:00

finally this week is coming to an end. it's scary how today marked the end of one sem. just like that, and 1/6 of my poly education is over. i really do hope i don't have to repeat any modules and that next sem'll be as much fun as this one was. minus the stress and procrastination.

girls i'm sorry if i've been so mia the past 2wks, but they've just been so insane with all the projects. promise we'll chillax/study more once my papers're over! it feels as if i haven't spoken to you 3 (hwee, stell & ern) in an eternity. plenty to update you all on too. why does it feel as if we've drifted apart? ):

it's all about you

2006-08-08T23:46:00.000+08:00

wow okay, proper entry again. just feel in a blogging mood this couple of days i guess. enjoy it while it lasts! haha kidding. more like i feel the need to update my friends = banana, bee and ern before they start complaining that i've disappeared from the face of the earth. WHICH I HAVE NOT.

just that i've been stuck in this place called school everysingleday from morning till 11pm when they switch off the lights to chase us off. after which i come home, bathe and sit down to at least another 3 more hrs of work. thanks to the lack of slumber, the past 2wks have just melded into each other. i don't even know which day i'm living in now due to the absence of classes. lucky me.. not. because it means we're stuck at the atrium slogging and getting increasingly frustrated with our incompetence. SUCKS LAH. i swear time does not move in the atrium. it's as if we're stuck in a time capsule. but all this is going to come to an end! after the 21st, i swear i will spend every minute i can out of school.

had s1'o3-o4 class gathering at peiyi's place today. it was so fun reminiscing about the teachers and our time spent in crescent. boy do i miss the girls more than ever. i love my class to death. we had cliques but weren't segregated. and that had to be the best thing about our class. all the best to all you guys taking A's this year! although we've left crescent and are somewhat living our own lives now, i believe that if the need arises we'll always be there for each other.

okay onto the more promising aspects of life! haha. DA HOLIDAYS!
so far it's shaping up very well. i'm glad i won't be bored to pieces while the jckids mug their guts out for prelims. (lucks!) i want to work but i don't think i'll have time as the month of september is fast being filled with activites. whopee! and now, here's another of tabi's infamous lists. (i swear i'm a total obsessive listmaker, i even make a list of the lists i have)
SEPTEMBER
1st - POPTART! (fms's pride, party the night away with fellow fmsers!)
2nd-7th - holiday with the fam (BANANA's bday)
8th-10th - hockey camp! (ern's bday)
11th-14th - challenges camp

okay this has been like the longest entry EVER. take care everyone, the next few days = PURE MADNESS

2006-08-08T00:29:00.000+08:00

and we hope against all logic, against all experience

i don't know what i'd do without my weekly dosage of Grey's Anatomy. probably die from living in reality all the time. America's Next TopMod's starting next monday 10pm! can't wait! by then i'll be relieved from all my projs and left with medisoc paper on the 21st. ahhhh SO looking forward to the long hols.

the pace is picking up and for the first time since i've started poly, i feel as if i'm really working hard. whoever said poly was a breeze was obviously not from masscomm. true that i've left my work to the eleventh hour, BUT that quality of ours is said to be the mark of a true blue mcmer. (haha) excuses i know. anyway after the funfilled wkend, it's time for me to buck up and get down to some serious work.

what's up and coming:
1. locvid final edit (due today! shit)
2. graphcomm presentation (friday)
- POP
- namecards
- can design, label
- bus ads
- poster
3. marketing final paper (sat!)
4. webgraph final presentation (nxt tues)
5. medisoc final paper (21st, monday)

okay people, we can do it! after 21st we're free till FIFTEENTH OCTOBER! and then the other half of mcm will SUFFER like we did. haha only consolation is that we aren't doing this during christmas, newyear and cny!

2006-08-06T16:06:00.000+08:00

it's been a crazy week. marketing's finally over thank God and i'm glad for the weekend. was pretty good the chilling on friday night at cocco and the carlton with the girls/guys (MCMERS). the music sucked but the company rocked! i swear the only thing lacking from my life now is SLEEP. i crave my bed. but i've got so many freaking things to do. flash assignment due, graphcomm shit and marketing finals on sat. till then, i shall remain zombiefied and grumpy. i want the holidays now.

Touch like taste like fire
Hands do now what eyes no longer defend
Hands to fuel desire

2006-08-04T16:15:00.000+08:00

make or break.

the frailty of human relationships and the pain it inflicts

2006-08-02T02:00:00.000+08:00

I wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
with anyone but you,
I wonder why it is,
I wont let my guard down,
for anyone but you
we do it all the time,
blowing out my mind

pure exhaustion.

2006-07-31T22:42:00.000+08:00

Can you name 11 people you can think
of right off
the top of your head? Don't read the questions
underneath until you write the names of all 11
people...This is a lot funnier if you actually
randomly list the names first...No Cheating!!!

1. Hwee
2. Stell
3. Elle
4. Timmy
5. Joel
6. Hun
7. Shan
8. Adam
9. Russ
10. Kian
11. Ern

How did you meet 10?
in school, mass commers rock!

What would you do if you had never met 6?
suck even more at pool and die from lack of having a sensible friend

What would you do if 6 and 2 dated?
that'd be hilarious

Have you ever seen 4 cry?
yep

Do you think 1 is cute?
yup, my cutest HWEE BEE! (:

Tell me something about number 11
she is my best friend, she loves bread and she lives exactly 3mins away from me by walking

How do you know 8?
once again, school and him being a secsch's friend's cousin!

Would you ever go on a date with number 5?
hmm, that's debatable but i think we're past that

What's 7's favorite color?
brownie! 'nuff said.

What would you do if 6 confessed they liked you?
be very extremely shocked

Fact about 9:
he loves ham and bread

Who is 4 going out with?
that's going to remain confidential

who is number 5 to you?
the boy who can make me laugh no matter where and when

Would you ever live with 11?
duh! she's my best friend!

Is 2 single?
yep

Where does 7 live?
yishun

What do you think about 3?
she's my best bud and i love her many. i think she's the sweetest thing around

What's the best thing about number 8?
he's bitchy and he finishes my food for me

What do you like about number 10?
his horrendous sense of humour

Favorite Memory with 11?
too many to say! most recent would be our asinine attempt at badminton in her car porch

this feeling won't go away

2006-07-30T18:55:00.000+08:00

May I have all your eyes and ears to the front of the room,
If only, if only for one second
Will you hear what I have to say?
Oh, did I mention when I see you it stings like hell?
To the fact that we could have something that'll never happen.

2006-07-28T00:03:00.000+08:00

If you leave, don't leave now
Please don't take my heart away

she once thought that this fiasco was over,
then he had to come and spoil everything.
why try repairing something that is already broken
don't you get it?
i don't want you anymore

2006-07-27T14:36:00.000+08:00

everyone who sees this, irregardless of whether i know you anot, please help out and take this survey for my marketing project. thanks all

Click here to take survey

2006-07-27T01:28:00.000+08:00

so tired
physically drained
i can fall asleep standing up
i crave my bed, my sleep
i deserve it

i've been sleeping relatively little since last week
my body isn't used to it
i cannot survive like this

played soccer from 8-10, 3-5 today
then had trng 6-9
i'm not some superfit, hyper freak
this lethargy so doesn't help my mood

so much to be done
marketing surveys, market plan, bus ads
webgraph company profiles
locvid study for written test, filming GAH
things to do, decisions to be made
i cannot do this, not in this frame of mind

i really need to start studying for finals, i'm getting worried

This is going to bring me clarity
This'll take the heart right out of me

2006-07-26T00:26:00.000+08:00

Do not get me wrong I cannot wait for you to come home
For now you're not here and I'm not there, it's like we're on our own
To figure it out, consider how to find a place to stand
Instead of walking away and instead of nowhere to land

bad you, bad day, bad headache.
i cannot wait for you any longer.
the heart says no, the mind says no.
and i go to bed with a heavy heart and tearful eyes

2006-07-25T15:18:00.000+08:00

It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here but all I want
Is to be over there
Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend
That I don't really care

I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
Thats coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you

2006-07-24T22:01:00.000+08:00

i should have never let myself believe in miracles
cos now i have to pretend i don't care

grey's anatomy therapy ):

2006-07-24T21:23:00.000+08:00

weekend = not good

tabi = not happy
tabi = grumpy to the max

hwee and stell, sorry i vanished over the weekend.
busy like everyday ):
i need mucho girltherapy + thinspiration please.
thursday good?

lovelove
tabs

erno i miss you much too.

elle thanks for everything, talk with shan vera & naj today..
many good. somewhat relieved that my 'emptiness' is shared. (heh)
everyone NOSE! haaaaahaaaaaa

ps. kian, i do NOT stone & i'm not mean.

2006-07-22T21:33:00.000+08:00

i can't help but whine. my face is so HOT you can crack an egg and watch it sizzle. such is the extent of my sunburn! who knew the sun in the bloody east was so vicious. i swear i've never seen such sun in the west before! ): boo tampines. my thighs are burnt too! only good thing is, people look slimmer when tanner! :D hahaha so hopefully i will look SLIGHTLY sporty-er!

and my goal of losing 5kg seems all the way in timbuktu ):

i'm in sucha rubbishy mood! feeling all silly, must've been the sun.
FRIED my brains this morningggggg :o

stella and hwee, you two so happening. haven't seen nor heard from you both the whole of today okay! tsk. hope you sense my telepathy and come online soon. HAHA

love everyone much!

i decided i shouldn't let you get to me. what for read so much into things that might not even exist. but in the meantime, you still own much space in my thoughts. as always..

and it's back to PAC THE MAN and more games! wahoo!

have a great weekend! think i'll go to bed early today. like say before 12! (gasp!) that hasn't happened since i don't know when. but yes, think i deserve more than 8 measly hours of sleep tonight! hmm, i say TEN. so that means i'll have to be in bed by.. 1030! oh my, okay off to update the other two blogs and journal while i'm at it. alot of private thoughts tonight (:

2006-07-22T16:22:00.000+08:00

had friendly with tp today and i'm proud to say we won even though only 8 of us showed and we played against their full squad. i'm proud of you girls! (: the guys did well too, keeping the score at nil both.

on the other hand, my dad's being such an ass and not allowing me to go to jo's bday dinner thing tonight when i semi-organised it. bleh what a cow! ): stupid stupid man. i'm v.annoyed. so i shall just bide my time, and hopefully he'll let me go in the end. but i really doubt it since he's being such a shithead.

whateverr. at the most i'll stay home and lagunabeach/oc my night away..

i need to start studying for finals and training harder for ivp.

I'm running out of reasons for caring about the other half
I think my half wants a little more pride

2006-07-21T22:47:00.000+08:00

and FASTEST PIZZA-EATING MONSTER i know goes to..

tay kian wei!

seriously! ONE WHOLE pizza in thirteen minutes is no mean feat.

i am astounded, flabbergasted.

my mouth = o

yours = O

teehee.

2006-07-21T21:52:00.000+08:00

the deed is done! :D
efficient me got my haircut already.. not much difference but i must say it's alot neater = better for hockey. though i admit i don't really like the fringe. thank goodness my fringe grows real quick so hope it'll be just nice soon! it was getting too long and flat anyway.

i really wish you'd stop being so childish. but we've talked about it and arrived to the conclusion that we've done all we can and it's all up to you what you want to do with your life now.

you're making me more confused each day. just when i decide not to have anything to do with you, you start talking to me voluntarily. there's no way you can be unaware to how i seemingly feel for you. if you do read this, i'm talking about YOU okay? stop being so oblivious. (damn those feelings)

brynn: hey! i swear we're really quite evil sometimes, but only to people deserving of it right? anyhoo, hope you're doing great and i'll catchup with you soon yes! (: take care JAL. tha misses you much. the times spent with you at your playground eating ben&jerry's cookie dough chip.

nik: i won't let myself be bothered by him, you take heed of your own advice too alright? take care girl, we should really meet up more often! (:

elle: thanks dear for being there and listening to my complaints and frustrations. double thanks for the hellopanda. it really cheered me up! (: love you many.

2006-07-21T10:07:00.000+08:00

I NEED A HAIRCUT!

a colour wouldn't hurt

NO MONEY )::::

2006-07-21T00:10:00.000+08:00

bad ending to a perfectly good day.
please, stop being so immature.
this whole 'me against the world' is so CHILDISH.

fucking ruin my night.

2006-07-20T09:23:00.000+08:00

you dont have to move, you don't have to speak
lips for biting.
you're staring me down, a glance makes me weak
eyes for striking
now im twisting up when i'm twisted with you
brush so lightly
and time trickles down, and i'm breathing for two
squeeze so tightly.
i'll be fine, you'll be fine.
this moment seems so long
don't waste now, precious time
we'll dance inside the song

2006-07-20T00:12:00.000+08:00

ahhh so tired and feeling semi-fluish thanks to the filming for CATS in the pouring rain today ):
ugh, feel so sluggish. please God, don't let me fall sick this weekend!

missed s&w again today, went to stell's place to visit her. GET WELL SOON! (heh)
ended up pigging out on yummilicious indon cupnoodles at hers and sleeping!
i know i'm hard to wake up lah okay! you girls were so noisy!
but yes, catching up was really good and you don't think so much alright (:
BIGFATHUG girl.

i'm so excited! finally gonna meet erno and nikster (omg, rmb the days!) tmr!!
nik, i'm so glad we can still talk and the phonesesh was really great. MORE tmr yes?
erno, finally PIRATES! i didn't pangseh, but you sold me out ):
well, you're forgiven since you're accompanying me to watch again. teehee. can't wait
JOHNNY DEPP THE SEX! :D

okay off to just read marketing notes. can't believe elle & i're gonna take the test SO unprepared! DIE LAH. oh well i need to go to bed ASAP. tennis & swimming sesh at the club with the parents and elle tmr morn! ((:

the beauty of this night is haunting me inside

2006-07-19T01:09:00.000+08:00

Your Ideal Relationship is Friends Only

Honestly, you're not really ready for a relationship right now.
And you prefer to keep things platonic, for now.
That's not to say that one of your friends could be dating material.
You're just taking a break for now.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

OMG.

2006-07-18T23:16:00.000+08:00

banana, talk about being unappreciative.

I NEED A CUT AND COLOUR!

2006-07-18T21:15:00.000+08:00

wouldn't say these couple of weeks have been the best of all but i'm glad for my girlfriends. hwee, thanks for today. catching up and retail therapy was good. i got sucha good bargain didn't i! so sorry they didn't have your size. but babe, the talking and all was way more therapeutic. thanks for the sesh at coffeebean and just walking around. hope you love your shorts!

stayla you know hwee and i still love you no matter how bitchy we are k! and we think you rock! don't need to be popular when we've got each other! cheeriotrio (:

2006-07-18T18:20:00.000+08:00

I'm sittin' here all by myself
just tryin' to think of something to do
Tryin' to think of something, anything
just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out
'cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
to leave the rest of the world behind

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back/but I know you did

I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself
that you're not the one for me
But the more I think, the less I believe it
and the more I want you here with me
You know the holidays are coming up
I don't want to spend them alone
Memories of Christmas time with you
will just kill me if I'm on my own
I know it's not the smartest thing to do
we just can't seem to get it right
But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight

I'm sittin' here tryin' to entertain myself with this old guitar
But with all my inspiration goneit's not getting me very far
I look around my room and everything I see reminds me of you
Oh please, baby won't you take my hand
we've got nothing left to prove

And I didn't mean to meet you then
we were just kids
And I didn't mean to give you chills
the way that I kiss
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did
Don't say you didn't love me back 'cause you know you did
No, you didn't mean to love me back
But you did

2006-07-18T01:39:00.000+08:00

You Are 18 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

HAHA.

2006-07-17T23:54:00.001+08:00

we cant help ourselves
we see a line, we walk across it
maybe its a way of trading the familiar for the unfamiliar

but the problem is
once you've crossed, it's almost impossible to go back

if you do manage to go back, you find safety in numbers

2006-07-17T20:33:00.000+08:00

i know the prev post was rather looooong. and no i'm not gonna become some Bible-toting looney. haha was just an expression of how i've been feeling for awhile. anyway, i gotta start on greentea proj and marcomm test thurs! AHHH ):

funny, but i swear my feelings for you faded a little today

2006-07-17T10:22:00.000+08:00

okay sorry for that last post, written in anger and frustration. anyway, i'm in lect now and i don't know whether i should still blog about what i intended to. okay, here goes.

i've been thinking alot. about God and my life. or rather the lack of Him in my life. and well, i think that should change. honestly, i think this whole distancing began when i started school and clubbing again. i don't think there's anything wrong with Christians clubbing but i think it is A problem when church and my commitments to it start to get compromised. in the past 2mths, i think i've gone to church less than thrice. and i haven't kept my commitment to the worship ministry either. and frankly, i feel damn bad. okay, i SHOULD feel bad if not i'm really too far gone. but yeah, even going to church camp. i didn't experience the Spiritual Revival that is normally present in camps and retreats. and when i got back, life just resumed as per normal. which is scary.

i know i'm not a good christian in the aspects of reading God's word and even trying to live my life according to His Word. and well just recently, it's been bothering me alot. perhaps i've been sick for so long and i'm kinda screwing up my schlife too because of the lack of Him? reading the Serve blog and the post by bennett, reminded me of a time when God was so close and so REAL to us. He was a constant those 2mths, and everything went really well. sure there were certain unhappy incidences that occured, but i can't remember ever being alone. after experiencing him in that way, how could i possibly just revert to 'normal' life? as if what had happened those 2mths didn't have an impact on me. i'm sorry God, i think it's time for me to refocus on You and not myself. it's been so tiring and trying these 2mths and i realize now it's cos i've been relying on myself and not Him. how can i possibly rely on myself when my strength is so limited and finite. it's not going to be easy trying to live the way God wants, but i think the least i can do is try.

firstly, with my studies. i've got to start studying and bucking up in terms of school..
secondly, hwee. when're you gonna start coming back to church. it DOES matter.

i think a good first step would be for me to start reading my bible again, and praying daily.
i shall try tonight.

and suddenly i feel a weight has been lifted off me (:

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,(ocean)
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

2006-07-16T22:32:00.000+08:00

was thinking about what i wanted to blog when i was in the bath.
about how i've drifted so far from God and how church seems so distant.
then of course the parents had the talk, and you know what.
fuck it.
i'll continue living in sin for awhile more thank you very much.

i wish i could be stronger

2006-07-15T22:39:00.000+08:00

hola everyone! okay decided to blog properly for abit. i think thats the problem with having a blog, then finding another outlet for all the pent-up emotions (but slightly more private ones). i end up ignoring this and appearing vdepressed i think. just got back from 'renewal service', where my parents and several other couples renewed their marriage vows. and seriously, i thought it'd be sucha flake to be honest. in the light of my skeptism where 'true love' is concerned due to unforseen circumstances. but i was proven wrong and it turned out to be an enjoyable evening. watching my parents exchange their vows and putting on rings again for each other was truly quite an experience. it put a tiny warmth in my heart and brought a grin to my face. seriously, i'm so thankful to God for placing these 2 wonderful people in my life. i want a Love like my parents have. i know they've had their ups and downs but they've held on and made it thru it all. and tonight, i was so proud to be their daughter. I LOVE YOU MUMMY & DADDY! (:

and well, the week ahead is going to be full of trngs and soccer. and yes, i've decided i really need to get off my lazy butt, stop snacking and START WORKING OUT! if not i'll never reach my goal of losing at least 3kg! anyone want to volunteer as a personal trainer/exercise buddy? anyhoo, i hope ya'll had a great wkend, be it at BAYBEATS or just havin' some CHILLAX (banana's word)

i need a new ipod & phone.
i need to pay off my debts.
operation save $$$ shall begin hardcore this week :/

2006-07-15T13:34:00.000+08:00

Hello dearest stranger
Been looking at you for years
I wonder if you noticed me
But I hope you didn't.

Hello there friend
Today we met each other
You mentioned my name
And there I sighed.

Hello greatest fear
You have just said your goodbye
Taking my life away with you
Are you satisfied?

when is it going to be our time

2006-07-14T01:06:00.000+08:00

i hate the way you're always right,
i hate it when you lie.

i hate it when you make me laugh,
even worse when you make me cry.

i hate it when you're not around,
and the fact that you didn't call.

but mostly i hate the way i don't hate you,
not even close, not even a little bit,
not even at all.

2006-07-13T20:39:00.000+08:00

i hate days or nights when my emotions are so raw and i feel so exposed to the world that all i want to do is get under my covers and hide till these feelings pass.

i hate how you make me feel.
and how i can't hate you.

2006-07-13T14:45:00.000+08:00

A ghost of you
is all that I have left
is all that I have left of you to hold
I wake in the night to find there's
no one there but me and
nothing of what we were at all
A ghost of you
is all that I have left
is all that I have left of you to hold
I wake in the night to find there's
no one there but me and
nothing left of what we were at all

2006-07-13T12:43:00.000+08:00

tres tired.

HAHA tEboo vs tAHboo.

okay, ultimate craving of the moment. MY BED.

ever since i got my new furniture, all i've been thinking of is to go home to SCHLEEP.

but unfortunately, i don't see any 'rest' this wkend ):
BAYBEATS!! can't wait.

then there's sat, my parents're renewing their marriage vows. ha how sweet is that?

and okay sunday, yes. operation secret! will update soon, with photos hopefully.

to all, HAVE A GREAT WKEND!

2006-07-11T23:25:00.000+08:00

what i've been up to the past 2weeks
i'll let the photogs do the talking

hwee's surprise impromptu birthday dinner, fish&co

hwee's SECOND birthday dinner, nydc

erntub & tubbygoon, grand copthorne

EFers & others, MOS

dwayne, cosfest

the BEST SOYBEAN icecream in the world!

a very wet and dirty daryl, simei soccer

crystaljade delivery team!

my newest piercing

and for my dearest stella banana,
who says i don't have photos of you!
cheer up okay babe
the bee and the bambi will always be here.

eskibar

tango's

speaking of which, what happened to our fortnightly drinking sesh!

you and your favourite boxers!

and my personal favourite (:

long photo update, BE SATISFIED.

2006-07-10T23:38:00.000+08:00

came across an interesting site

Ailurophobia - Fear of cats. (marc!)
Cacophobia - Fear of ugliness. (who isn't?)
Didaskaleinophobia - Fear of going to school.
Eremophobia - Fear of being oneself or of loneliness.
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - Fear of long words.
Kenophobia - Fear of voids or empty spaces.
Macrophobia - Fear of long waits. (!!)
Nosocomephobia - Fear of hospitals. (nik!)
Obesophobia - Fear of gaining weight. ):
Ombrophobia - Fear of rain or of being rained on. (spot on)
Zoophobia - Fear of animals. (which the EFers will attest to)

bah, humbug

2006-07-09T22:39:00.000+08:00

hello old friend
it's been awhile

listening to songs of the sec2-3 period brought back so many memories
not all of which i particularly enjoy

but for now, i think i welcome you

you aren't in love with me
you just love the idea of me

2006-07-07T10:56:00.000+08:00

i say, why don't you quit while you're ahead.

I'm sittin' here all by myself
just tryin' to think of something to do
Tryin' to think of something, anything
just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out
'cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
to leave the rest of the world behind

2006-07-07T00:29:00.000+08:00

get off my back

fucking irritating

2006-07-06T14:22:00.000+08:00

One thought of you is all it takes
to leave the rest of the world behind

e x t r e m e l y . a n t i - s o c i a l

i just don't feel like talking to anyone
i'm happy to be alone for awhile
just a little quiet you know
and when i'm ready to talk
i'll be sure to let you know

when do you start living for yourself
and not as if you've got something to prove

2006-07-05T11:22:00.000+08:00

you're as good as dead to me. the emotional high i've been on the past few days has stopped abruptly. how we hate the emotional rollercoaster life puts us on. why don't we get to decide exactly how we want to feel and when about issues, people and even just the first thing we think of when we get out of bed? it's useless telling yourself you're supposed to be happy when you can't even get rid of the nagging feeling that something's not right out of your head.

how can you feel something that you weren't even aware of in the first place? it's as if someone abducted my brain and implanted a whole boxful of thoughts in it. thoughts that are alien to me. and worse of all, thoughts that induce misery. there isn't something i can pinpoint to being the cause of my.. i can't put a name to what i'm feeling. it's not like i'm thinking about anything in particular. i'm not. i'm just so 'ugh' all the time. the initial excuse of hormonal inbalance has long worn off.

i don't know how to take/approach our friendship. or whether we even have one in the first place. yes, i admit you're someone i find easy to talk to. but perhaps it's precisely the readiness to talk that makes me wary of you. because i don't know whether i can trust you. i don't think i'm a distrustful person and i tend to trust people till they give me reason not to. and for you, the reasons are sky high yet none of it is concrete. i don't know whether i'm being unfair to you on my part because as far as i'm concerned you haven't done anything to harm me point blank. but, close friends tell me not to trust you. and they've known you for much longer. yes it may have been in the past, but how am i to know if you've changed. your friendship with a certain someone else casts more doubt and when i think of the relation between you two. i just feel as if you've reached into me and squeezed my heart real tight. that's the 'ugh' feeling you give me. and because of you, another friendship is affected. now i can't trust someone that means something to me due to your friendship with the person. because whenever i talk to the person, i can't help but go.. 'what if he/she tells you'. i've been thru this issue SO MANY TIMES, but yet after all this while, i still can't find a reason to trust you.

as she took a moment to ask herself what was wrong with her,
her heart was jolted with another question..
what was right?

2006-07-04T22:12:00.000+08:00

i'm really bored so thought i'd do these for fun. stole them friends' blogs.

PART I
[x] my fingernails/toenails are almost always painted
[x] during the summer pretty much the only shoes i wear are flip flops
[ ] my favorite toy as a child were barbies
[ ] my favorite color is purple
[ ] i did Gymnastics
[x] i love skirts
[ ] hollister is my favorite place to shop
[ ] tight jeans are the only jeans i'll wear
[x] i love chocolate
[ ] i've never had a real job
TOTAL: 4

[ ] my hair is straightened
[ ] i have at least 8 friendster pictures
[ ] i usually go shopping once a week
[x] i love to hang out with friends
[ ] i have a real diamond ring or diamond necklace
[ ] i've gone to a tanning salon
[x] ive gone to the beach to tan - not to swim
[x] i have at least 10 pairs of shoes
[x] i watch either the OC or Laguna Beach
[ ] i change my icon weekly
TOTAL: 4

[ ] i wear a shower cap
[ ] I would NEVER step foot into Hot Topic (whaaat??)
[x] my cell phone might as well become a part of me
[ ] i wear mascara everyday
[x] i've been or am on a diet
[ ] bathing suits are adorable
[ ] i dont know the difference between a sheep and a goat.
[x] big sunglasses are hott
[x] i have gotten my nails done
[x] i own over 10 purses
TOTAL: 5

[ ] MTV is one of my favorite channels
[ ] all i want to do at sleepovers is talk about boys
[x] i love to have other girls do my hair
[x] i give and receive hugs from all my friends
[x] i hate bugs, snakes, lizards, spiders
[ ] carnivals are so fun!! (carnivals-singapore?)
[ ] summer is THE best season (we have only one season damnit!)
[x] my swimsuit has 2 pieces
[x] im waiting for my knight in shining armor
[ ] pianists are so hot.
TOTAL: 5

[ ] you write me a poem and tell me im beautiful and im all yours
[x] i am self-conscious.
[/] i cry often
[ ] my car smells like vanilla
[x] my dishes get washed more then once a week
[ ] i dont do sports
[x] i HATE to run
[ ] i squeal when i am surprised or angry
[x] i eat dried fruit as a snack
[x] i love romance novels
TOTAL: 5.5

[ ] Drew Barrymore is so cute
[x] i dance a lot (what sort?!!)
[/] i usually spend over an hour to get ready to leave my house (depends on the occasion?)
[ ] i only have like 5 billion hair products
[/] i love to get dressed up. (when i'm in the mood)
[x] every part of my outfit needs to match
[x] i talk on the phone at least once a day to my friends
[ ] i would love to have a photo shoot of myself
[ ] price on clothes hardly matters
[ ] i apply lip gloss 50 times a day
TOTAL: 4

[ ] i wish i were a model
[ ] i wish i could meet Paris Hilton to slap her
[ ] i have been in something that was slutty on halloween
[ ] i own Uggs
[ ] Hip Hop is the best music
[ ] i pop my collar
[ ] i like to be the center of attention
[/] guys with Mohawks are crazy (OR crazy-beautiful :) )
[x] horses are beautiful
[x] but do i have a choice?? i'd rather not pay attention in school
TOTAL: 2.5

[ ] cats are adorable
[ ] i write my own music/song/lyric
[x] i would love to visit Hawaii
[ ] Valentine's day! i like!
[ ] white is better than black
[ ] i wouldn't be caught dead in all black
[/] my closet is STOCK FULL of clothes (never enough!)
[x] i hate the grunge look of a beard
[x] i love to read gossip magazines
[ ] i could live without.. i love to gossip
TOTAL: 3.5

[ ] I had Lisa Frank folders, posters as a kid
[ ] i love Celine dion
[ ] My bubble baths are 2 hr long
[ ] my wedding only needs a groom because it's already planned
[ ] my friends and i are in a strict group. we mostly only hang out with each other
[x] i like kids
[ ] diet drinks are the best
[ ] im all about being vegetarian
[ ] i refuse to eat at McDonald's
[ ] i check my friendster everyday.
TOTAL: 1

[ ] i LOVE life!
[x] i have a lot of jewlery!
[ ] claires has cheap jewlery
[ ] my screen names have x's in them
[ ] either one of my friendster profile has/had <3 size="5">31% a girl.

PART II
Spend a half hour doing your hair? []
Go tanning? [x]
Watch The OC/Laguna Beach? [x]
Own something designer? []
Go to the mall alot? [x] (does orchard road count?)
Like Paris Hilton? []
Cell phone with fake/real diamonds? []
Own an ipod/MP3 player? [x]
Love Starbucks? [x]
Love flip flops? [x]

Total x's = 6

[GOTH]
Black=fave color? [x]
Ever thought about death? [x] (duh! who hasn't?)
Wear chains? []
Like heavy metal? []
Love Hot Topic? []
wear black lipstick? []
Are you pale? []
Your hair is black? [/] (naturally yes)
Hate preps? []
Athiest/Satanic? []
Blue, purple,red, green hair? []

Total x's = 2.5

[PUNK/SKATERBOARDER]
Skateboard? []
Wear plaid? []
Love converse? []
Think you're different? []
Hate MTV []
Like to mosh? [x]
Blue, purple,red, green hair? []
Love skater boys/girls? [x]
Hate pink? []
Hate rich kids? []

Total x's = 2

[NERD/LOSER]
Love computers? [] (UGHHH!)
Like Star Trek? []
Wear glasses? [x]
Get straight A's? [] (NEVER!)
Never had a boy/girlfriend? []
Love reading? [x]
Have a curfew? []
Always do your homework? []
Never cut school? []
Never drank? []

Total x's = 2

[EMO]
Are you depressed? [/] (occasionally? isn't everyone.)
Have black rimmed glasses? [x]
Like Dashboard Confessional? [x]
Comb your hair in front of your face? [/] (it FALLS into my face)
Cry a lot? [/]
Write sad poems? []
Hate being called emo? []
Keep a journal? [x]
Ever wrote your own sad song? []
Have a sad layout on blog? [x]

Total x's = 5.5

[GHETTO/GANGSTA]
Like rap? []
Tag? []
Say "nigga?" []
Drink...? []
Wear rubberbands in your pants? []
Swear a lot? []
Have freestyle contests? []
Ever said "fo shizzle?" []
Been called a playa? []
Wear converse with the tongue flipped out? [ ]

Total x's = 0

[JOCK]
play a sport?[x]
wear a team uniform/jacket, etc once a month? [x]
mention a team on your profile? []
doing something active 4/7 days a week? [/]
like to run? [] (EEW)
run everyday? [] (hell no!)
watch soccer games on tv? [x]
if you could, would you play your sport right now? [/] (negligible muscleache)

total x's = 4

i'm really bored and this is pretty fun. okay one more from nik's blog which i was tagged to do say a month ago? haha sorry girl! it's so overdue.

7 celebrity crushes.

- Chad Michael Murray
- Michael Vartan
- Channing Tatum
- Johnny Depp (in Pirates of the Carribean, not willy wonka)
- Seth Cohen
- Kaka (he IS a celebrity no?)
- My Secret Stranger

7 qualities I want in a potential boyfriend.

- Good Christian (God-fearing)
- Honest
- Dependable
- Great sense of humour
- Filial (says alot right girls!)
- Trustworthy
- Open-minded

7 random songs at the moment.

- Straightjacket Feeling by The All-American Rejects (yes hwing, i know)
- A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton
- Can't Take it by AAR
- Move Along by AAR
- Staplegunned by The Spill Canvas
- For You I Will by Teddy Geiger
- Sick Cycle Carousel by Lifehouse

7 things I say the most.

- OMG
- Like Seriously!
- Ugh
- Wtf
- Hell NO
- Aiyo.
- I SWEAR

7 people who need to do this.

- Elle
- Hwing
- Ern
- Rach Mok
- Lexy
- Der
- Callie Poo

okay, i'm kinda tired after doing all this nonsense. so im gonna end of here. anyhoo, this wkend is proving to be ACTION-PACKED. i like! laaaatteeeeerrrrssssss

this round i am playing for keeps

2006-07-02T22:43:00.000+08:00

just because

Maybe I'm A Girl And Maybe I'm A Lonely Girl
Who's In The Middle Of Something
That She Doesn't Really Understand

2006-07-01T10:13:00.000+08:00

sometimes i'm stunned by how accurate people can be
then i'm comforted by the fact that i'm not alone

2006-07-01T00:07:00.000+08:00

by jan, stella & i.
hwee i hope you like it (:

thanks pie for the layout! it's exactly how i wanted it.

in the meantime, let me be.

2006-06-30T01:32:00.000+08:00

sometimes, when your brain tells you something is not worth hanging on to, just let go of it. hah. yes. new advice that everyone should take up.

i love you tons small L (:

since i've become a pie now i think i shall start calling you..cake. haha. chocolate cake. banana cake. tab cake. FISH cake. emofishycake. hahaha.
pie + cake = substitute goods.
hmm. too much econs. okay i shall stop rattling nonsense here. blogging on your blog makes my thoughts go awry. haha. see, the adverse effects you have on me. tsktsk.

hope you like your layout now. i think i prefer it to mine. hmphh. hahaha.

heart you lots, ernie

2006-06-29T23:58:00.000+08:00

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

I am yours.
I am yours.

Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am yours.
I am yours.

2006-06-29T22:50:00.000+08:00

current mood : grumpy and snappy

current state of mind : exhausted

current thoughts : none

current action : i'm off to bed.

yes i'm exhausted and in a very unblogging mood.
so i think it's time for one of my lovely HIATUS
but i'll be back soon, i promise.

it's all better babe (:

2006-06-28T19:28:00.000+08:00

tabs dear.
yay yay. i'm glad we talked it thru.
how cld i let this affect us ;)
taahaa.
and YES. i lvoe you tooo.
& i'm wathing this show, how guys can lie to girls so easily! OMG.
guys arnt worth it. seriously.
yes you will tell me what goes on
and i'm so thankful you knw evry thing i feel inside:D

haha. have fun at hwing's surprise party.
AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY HWING! if your reading this ((((:

keeeep smiling babe.

<3 <3 elle

2006-06-28T11:28:00.000+08:00

just so you know

i haven't really been blogging much and i apologize to all. been really busy

had papers to sit for and projects to work on. tres stressful.

fun isn't a friend i know anymore. can't wait for this wkend. partying with the girls!!

too bad there's the football match on the same night. perhaps we'll watch then party yes?

movie therapy much needed. but i've pretty much caught everything. except superman of course.

sure i need to study and all, but for now. can fun be my best friend again?

when will i get to see my girls again! 2 more days. i'm countingdown!

let it all out

2006-06-28T00:11:00.000+08:00

loving someone is a choice. a choice i choose not to make

satisfied?

2006-06-27T23:01:00.000+08:00

take it or leave it

i don't see why you had to kick up sucha big fuss over something so minute.
but then again, maybe you're just being you.

you really amaze me at times. when i'm ready to think the worst of you, you just turn around and do something so utterly nice. then somehow i can't help wondering whether i did the right thing, all those weeks back. but it's long gone now, and i still think i did do the right thing.

you give me a twinge of hope. just a tiny one. but still, it's something.

2006-06-26T11:21:00.000+08:00

irksome. that's how you are to me.

though apart, always at heart

2006-06-25T23:14:00.000+08:00

GREAT SINGAPORE SALE IS HERE DEAR !
let's go crazy shopping sometime SOON okay?
RETAIL THERAPY needed! :)
let's buy the whole of orchard down!
KIDDIN' of course .

YAY. love love.
<3 elle

your such a dear (:

ILOVETABS

2006-06-23T02:17:00.000+08:00

ILVOETABS ilovetabs ilovetabs (:
YAY."SCARY MOVIE 4" SUCKS . BOO. we wasted 8 bucks for that crapcake showw
ouchhhh.
<3 elle

2006-06-22T23:07:00.000+08:00

POST-EMO

hello all. it's been a helluva two days, without sleep. and yes!!! finally time to watch my dvds. imma loving one tree hill. thanks hwing. and stella, L word! anyway i'll try to set up the blog for we 3, so till then. get the creative juices flowing okay!

yup i know i sound really hyper, when truth is i'm just staring stonily at my laptop. if looks could kill. anyway it's been an overall pretty good day i guess. paper over yesterday and it sucked so don't ask me how it went. had filming of interview today and it's good. lynn's SO HOT! and very nice too. thanks for the yami yoghurt. movie with elle and the rest was okay. ate too much today and seriously scary movie 4 sucks. please don't waste your money.

GIRLS! i'm looking forward to post mids. where we can party and the hotel stay. oohlala. can't wait! for now, i shall save up (or shop). either way, i just want you guys to have smiles on your faces and clear consciences when we play.

elle, i love you and dear. take heart. don't ): and gorge on b&j no more k. bigfathug.

btw these people please choose your birks and lemme know what model ASAP. appreciated!
rabbit
stayla
hwee (we're paying so your job is to choose!)
elle
wid

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone sins
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through

(Move along)
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along

for the girls, hwee and elle (:

2006-06-21T00:11:00.000+08:00

I HATE MY LACK OF URGENCY WHEN IT COMES TO STUDYING

you know how sometimes when people continually ask you about a particular issue or someone and you end up thinking about it when initially you'd never have given it more thought or it's an idea you may have briefly toyed with before dismissing it? i hate that. cumulative effects theory. so now i have this thought planted deep in my head, which absolutely refuses to be uprooted despite the many attempts and it's annoying the hell out of me cos it's not something i ever gave much thought to or contemplated.

stop fucking messing around with my head.

Back me down from backing up
Hold your breath now it's stacking up
Etched with marks, but I can deal
And you're the problem and you can't feel
Try this on, straightjacket feeling
so maybe I won't be alone
Take back now, my life you're stealing

Yesterday was over
Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is staring holes in me again

Trust you is just one defense
off a list of others, you don't make sense
Beg me time and time again
to take you back now, but you can't win
Take back now, my life you're stealing

Yesterday was over
Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is staring holes in me again,
but today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you

And when the memory slips away
There will be a better view from here
And only lonesome you remains
and just the thought of you I fear
it falls away

Yesterday was over
Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is staring holes in me again,
but today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you

elle invading (:(:

2006-06-20T00:56:00.000+08:00

best buds never part- love you babe. (:
HELLLO.YAY. my 1st post in tab's blog (:
sorry to all who's BORED reading my post. just skip it.
BUT this is just FOR FUN!
spent 2 straight solid day with tabi and the poo-ey pple todayy.
went to 'PARTY' after MEDISOC paper. thou we weren't exactly relieved because there's another dreadful paper coming up. MARCOMM. DEARR! WE'RE GONNA conk out soon aft all the tests are OVER.
wait- there's only been 2 so far =/

anw. it's another day of fun tmr . WID,tabi & i gonna spend midnight session ton-ing hardworkingly (YEAH RIGHT) , TO STUDY FOR MARCOMM. and hopefully this time we'll be able to get things done and bemore productive PLEASE.
hehe.
alright. i'm gonna go eat more ICE CREAM. and you wont wanna know hw many pints i've finished, and tubs- you shld know whyy.

<3 elle.

2006-06-19T22:35:00.000+08:00

silent hill sucked. paper was okay. came home to sleep and now am awake, awaiting GREY'S ANATOMY at eleven. overall a very blah day. then again, how to be exciting when there're papers approaching and you stay up till 3 and wake up at 8 to study. tmr's gonna be better! studying with hwing and the mates then crossing my fingers for 'sandwich/boggle' session at my place again. um yes, its supposed to be studying fyi. ha. and russ, this time NO FOUR HUNDRED GRAMS of ham! but the garlic focaccia is to die for. everyone take note, cedelebakery! rocks my socks. except i don't ever wear socks anymore. mm. but yes, very uneventful day indeed. been listening to old songs and feeling nostalgic while reminiscing about the past (:

Ninety Miles outside Chicago
Can't stop driving
I don't know why
So many questions
Need an answer
Two years later
You're still on my mind

Whatever happen to Amelia Earhart?
Who holds the stars up in the sky?
Is true love just once in a lifetime?
Did the captain of the Titanic cry?

Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain...
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue...
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you...

Does anybody know the way to Atlantis?
Or what the wind says when she cries?
I'm speeding by the place that I met you
For the 97th time...tonight

Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain...
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue...
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you...
(yeah yeah yeah yeah)

Someday we'll know
Why Samson loved Delilah...
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon...
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you...

I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow,
And watched the stars crash in the sea,
If I could ask God just one question...
Why aren't you here with me?...tonight

Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain...
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue...
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you...
(yeah yeah yeah yeah)

Someday we'll know
Why Samson loved Delilah...
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon...
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you...

2006-06-19T00:30:00.000+08:00

just can't wait for wednesday 12noon to be over. papers done and i can finally heave a sigh of relief

just because i want to see you smile today

2006-06-17T12:38:00.000+08:00

foul mood be gone!

This is for the record cause I've been
Holding back too long
A summer of abandoned words
Lost in the torn out pages
And the centerpiece of your own views
Is appropriate for the given heart
I can hardly see this through
It's casual for me now

Here's to another year of heartbreak from you
(This is the second spring of pain)
I'm always broken like this
Always broken like this
And these lonely nights are getting old
These faceless tears remain untold tonight
This is for the words you'll never find
(I want to tell you everything)
All the songs I never get to sing to you
I've had a million chances to tell you everything

So, is it smart
To be avoiding you like this
Cause I don't want to fall in love again
And this is the worst time for you to be like this
(open wounds in the eyes rub them down
So I can never see you again)

Everyone's going to the "girl ask guy" dance
With their teenage romance
Except for me
And this is the worst time for you to be like this
(open wounds in the eyes rub them down
So I can never see you again)

2006-06-17T02:07:00.000+08:00

sometimes i think i do, but i try not to.
because it's so much easier not to think about you

2006-06-16T21:12:00.000+08:00

oblivion

back from malaysia. was a pretty good trip, ate too much. missed my girls aplenty and elle, i'm sorry i wasn't here for you. BUT i'm back! so anything call me k? we still have our icecream sesh to go to. shopped abit but basically spent time with my family and friends who i never really spoke to in church. world cup fever was high in camp and it was fun staying up and cheering our teams! must be why i'm STILL sick after three long weeks. bleh. hmm what else is there, not really in a mood for blogging. or rather just don't feel like sharing my jumbled thoughts with the rest of the world. yup i'll end off here.

maybe i do miss you, if i allow myself to

I would never lie to you
Unless I had to
I'll do what I got to
Unless I had to
I'll do what I got to, the truth
Is you could slit my throat
And with my one last gasping breath
I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt

And all I (all I)
Need to know (need to know)
Is that I'm something you'll be missing
(is that I'm something that you're missing)
(maybe I should hate for this)
Maybe I should hate you for this
Never really did ever quite get that far
(maybe I should hate for this)
Maybe I should hate you for this
Never really did ever quite get that

2006-06-13T14:55:00.000+08:00

HELLO FROM TRULYASIA

missing everyone back home but i admit i do need this time away. some peace and quiet, cutoff from home and it's hecticness. i've been so busy with school and just running myself ragged since school started. i'm thankful for this time of rest. the craziness was starting to get to me. life's so laidback here. selfish as this may sound, i really do need some ME time. time to just think about what i've been doing and what i want to do. girls, i'm fine really. promise i'll be the same old tab when i get back. just that sometimes too much time to think just makes you depressed yknow. STILL, i want to make full use of my mini break here just for some rest. i'm glad daryl and bryner came. at least there're people my age. yup.

i'm glad i can't contact you anymore, i can't bring myself to even if i could anyway (hw and stel, you guys know what i mean) i'm glad you can't hurt me anymore

girl, hang in there.
i'll always be here for you!
LOVE

on a happier note, happy NINETEENTH year anniversary to mom and dad. i really envy the relationship my parents have and the love that is still so evident between them after all these years. they were both each other's first loves. looking at them gives me hope (: and yes many many more years to come! after so long, they still cuddle while watching tv, go out on movie and dinner dates and the occasional little gift from dad to mom, including supper where mom goes just because dad wants to eat. AWW. love you both much and thanks for showering all your love on nat, zai, zek and me.

In muddy grass we stand side by side
With our knuckles interlocked
Black dresses flood the cemetery
In this cliche tragedy

Just do as you're instructed and....
Take this razor and cut your palms
I'll do the same until a river of crimson begins to flow
Now drip your ruby red over the casket
A funeral for my once loved youth

My secret is fatally gorgeous
I'd die for you
But in this Bonnie and Clyde kind of romance
Tell me what would you do?
My secret is fatally gorgeous
I'd die for you
But when your precious life is at stake
Tell me would you die for me too?

The quivering liquids in your stomach
Will eat away at the bad habits that have made you
A real character in the story of your now distant life
Goodnight and goodbye, quickly

In gentle greens we stand side by side
With your head buried in my chest
Black veils send me shivering
The fear that part of me is dying

2006-06-12T00:10:00.000+08:00

love you girls!

why like that

2006-06-09T20:47:00.000+08:00

ever been in the situation where you read something and feel as if someone has twisted a knife into your gut? that's what happened twice today.

sometimes i can't comprehend you or your feelings at all. i don't like this feeling of helplessness and i wish you'd just tell me instead of being so bloody evasive all the time. or maybe it's just nothing to do with me at all and everything is just part of my imagination. i truly hope that is the case

to my wandering mind and fleeting heart : be still or better yet, go away.

2006-06-08T16:25:00.000+08:00

when it's cold and gloomy, my least favourite weather, somehow thinking of you puts a smile in my head.

Forgive me if I stutter
From all of the clutter in my head
Cuz I could fall asleep in those eyes
Like a water bed
Do I seem familiar, i've crossed you in hallways
a thousand times, no more camouflage
I want to be exposed, and not be afraid to fall.

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will
For you

2006-06-08T10:32:00.000+08:00

my throat is KILLING me.
the dry hacking cough, now the phlegm.
anyone kind enough to get me honey water & lozenges!
EAT SAND. bleh.

i'm sorry group members but i really feel so shitty today
i won't last in school at all
just gonna do the stupid logos and bauhaus the whole day
ugh.

I HATE MY THROAT!!

someone put me out of this misery

Say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me

2006-06-08T00:16:00.000+08:00

for rabbit, too bad the real one isn't as cute!

2006-06-07T23:07:00.000+08:00

the stress is getting to me
today productivity - zero
OR according to rabbit = -ve

ate too much, it's OBESE week
i just hate this feeling
i wish it'd go away now now now

my thoughts are all jumbled up
i'm thinking in jolts
incoherency seems to be me today

rabbit, you're a lousy study buddy
SO distracting! SO unhelpful.
so blur too.
eg : 7th floor - 'eh they all left?!'
kueh lapis carpet makes me hungry!
not now though

i can't wait for friday to come and for these 2 wks to be OVER.

my sunshine's gone, i miss you like crazy